Modern dating and modern relationships can seem very complicated to people. The reason for this is that there are a lot of conflicting ideas when it comes to dating and relationships. People will give advice based on their own personal experience rather than think carefully about the consequences of their actions. For example, some of the top dating advice explains that there are periods in your relationship and in your dating life when you should be a little selfish and put yourself first. They recommend that you need to be demanding in your dating and sex lives so that there are no misunderstandings. However, this type of sexual selfishness can ruin an otherwise pleasurable sexual experience. When both partners are only thinking about themselves, this means that they are not working together but against each other.
Good sex comes from having a strong partnership. This partnership is not just created from a relationship where you know each other very well but one where you and your partner are sexually and emotionally compatible and are able to work together. It means wanting the same things as your partner and being able to communicate with them without misunderstandings. This can be done in both long-term relationships and casual hookups as long as each partner is willing to compromise and want to make each other feel good. When it comes to sex, you should be focused on your own needs as well as want to make your partner happy. Knowing that you are pleasing your partner is what makes sex even more enjoyable. When one person is focused on their own pleasure over their partner's, this is called being sexually selfish.
There are a lot of different ways to tell if he is sexually selfish but the key one is whether or not he reciprocates in bed. Reciprocation is when you each do something to make the other person happy or sexually satisfied but if the attention is all on him then he is selfish in bed. For example, when you perform oral sex on him but he does not want to do the same for you. Or when you make him orgasm and he does not want to pleasure you after because he is too tired. Another way to tell if he is sexually selfish is if he cares whether or not you orgasm or if he seems impatient or demanding when you do not orgasm before him. In both of these situations, the focus is on him and what he wants rather than what the both of you want. If you are worried about whether or not your partner is sexually selfish, you need to consider his behavior when the two of you are having sex to figure it out.
Communication is one of the most important things in gay sexual relationships. No matter how experienced you are, you should always make sure that your partner is interested in what you are doing together. This means that you are talking to them to find ways to sexually satisfy each other and doing things that the other person enjoys so that everyone is able to get what they want from the relationship. This could include changing positions or even slowing the pace down so that they feel more comfortable. If your partner does not like talking or communicating in bed and gets upset when you do it, then this could be a sign that he is sexually selfish. Especially if he is ignoring you when you are talking to him and trying to tell him what feels good and what does not.
Your sexual partner should care about making you feel good and appreciate that you are talking to them so that they can make it better for you. They should not get upset when you try to direct them in a way that will make sex better for you. Another sign of your partner being sexually selfish is when they refuse to ask you what you like and just do what they like instead. They might even go as far as to tell you to stop telling them what to do. A good partner would not get upset when you are trying to vocalize when something does not feel good. When a partner is not selfish, they are willing to listen to you so that they can make the experience better for the both of you and not just themselves.
When his pleasure matters more than yours, this is a sign that he is sexually selfish. This could mean that he refuses to satisfy you unless you satisfy him first or that he only wants to orgasm in one way even if you prefer another. For example, by refusing to help you orgasm unless you please him first. This type of controlling and dominating behavior is a sign that he is a sexually selfish partner. This can be a very difficult situation to navigate because he will likely have a lot of excuses about why he cannot reciprocate your pleasure. He might say that he is running late for an appointment or that he is not in the mood or that he has injured himself. The excuses are meant to make it so that you do not push or demand more. They might turn things around on you and say that you are being selfish and valuing your comfort over his pleasure which will make you feel bad.
If your partner is only chasing his own orgasm and does not want to help you out by giving you pleasure then this is a sign that he is selfish in bed. When you are having anal sex, he will not help you out if you are not able to orgasm and if he orgasms before you then he will expect you to take care of it yourself. In this case, he is consistently wanting or expecting you to do things for him but he will never reciprocate that. To him, you are just a tool for his own pleasure and so he does not care about making you feel good. The most common example of this is when some casual hookups in casual relationships will not perform oral sex even if they have done it on them because they will say that they do not like it. However, they did not tell their partner about this boundary beforehand which makes this encounter one-sided. This selfishness can also be seen when he does not want to do things to help you orgasm when you are having sex because it does not matter to him if you do or do not achieve pleasure.
Foreplay is often considered to be both another form of sexual activity as well as a warm-up or what leads up to sex. For these reasons, if your partner is sexually selfish he is not going to want to indulge in foreplay with you. Foreplay is intended to help prepare both partners for sex so that they are both comfortable and aroused. It is a mutually pleasurable action that changes depending on the people involved and their interactions. Foreplay helps you both get in the mood especially if one of you is nervous or inexperienced. It involves pleasuring each other for the sake of pleasure although some may believe that foreplay is unnecessary or boring. If your partner is sexually selfish, they will not like foreplay and only do the bare minimum.
Since no or limited foreplay is considered to be a sign of a partner being selfish in bed, many men will only do the basic amount of things to help arouse their partner. They will do just enough to get them sexually interested and then it will become all about them. If your partner is distracted or rushing when they are trying to please you, this could be a sign that they are sexually selfish since they are in a hurry to get to satisfy them and believe foreplay to be a waste of their time. They will often seem impatient to get to the "main event" and will make you feel like you are being too demanding by asking for it. They might even seem distracted and not care when you are trying to tell them what feels good and what does not and will only do just enough to make you happy so that you do not complain.
If your partner is sexually selfish then they will probably only want to have sex in one position. They will not want to change things up and try new things that you suggest because they do not care about making you feel good. There are two ways that this can be seen in a partner. One of them is when he is forceful and makes you stay in uncomfortable positions even when you complain about it because it is a position that is more pleasurable for them. Any position where the bottom partner's hips are raised is more pleasurable for them and if your partner prefers to be in missionary this could be a sign that they are selfish since this not always the most pleasant position for sex. They might also pick a position where they do not have to see your arousal which makes it easier for them to ignore it.
If your partner enjoys making you ride them and does not like to be the person doing the majority of the work, this is a sign that they are selfish in bed. In this position, they can make you do all the work since you are the one who is finding your own pleasure. When you are riding them, you are actually doing the work of two people since you are finding your own pleasure and also helping them find theirs. If you do not orgasm in this position, they will not do anything to make it easier for you or even lend you a hand and if they do, they will make it seem like you are asking for too much. If your partner is selfish in bed, they will always make sure that they orgasm first.
When a partner is too controlling in bed, it can take a lot of the fun out of sex. Although there are some relationships where one partner takes control, it is always talked about first and when it is not, it is a sign that of one partner being sexually selfish. By controlling your sexual activities, they are making it so they are the only ones who are going to be happy. They care about themselves and their pleasure and will demand you to do things that bring them pleasure. However, when you ask them to do things for you, they will ignore you or come up with excuses about why you should focus on them instead. When your partner is very demanding, it can affect your self-esteem and self-worth and make it seem like you are doing something wrong in bed.
This type of sexually selfish man will only be nice to you when they want something which can be confusing. They will only pleasure you so that you will please them as well. This will make it seem like sex is an obligation or something that you have to do to make them happy even when you are not in the mood. They will also expect you to initiate things first which affect the power dynamic in the relationship and puts one partner's sexual needs over the other's. Instead of it being equal, your partner has all the control and will use that to their advantage. They will also be very impatient when it comes to pleasuring you and expect you to orgasm quickly so that they can focus on their pleasure only.
Have LGBT sex and dating questions? XXXConnect.com's in-depth guide will help you figure out whether or not he is sexually selfish and what to do about it.
