XXXConnect.com is here to help you hook up with feminists without offending them. To teach you how to treat them as your equals both in and out of the sack.

Here's the thing about feminists, guys. They're not the overly sensitive and easily offended ticking time bombs that the media can sometimes portray them as. That image is created by a misogynist media, who want to keep women down in the world. If you want to hook up with a feminist, it's easy. You just need to tell them you're interested in them in a respectful way. That's pretty simple, right? All you have to do is avoid any sort of piggish behavior that you might sometimes find yourself committing when you're trying to pick up a woman with low self-esteem issues. You should really just avoid that sort of behavior moving forward, no matter who the woman is that you're trying to hook up with. It will make your life a lot easier, and you won't have to have two different styles of picking up women. You can just be an expert at the one.

Mirriam-Webster's dictionary defines 'Feminism' as:

1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

So you see, that all a feminist is, is someone who believes in men and women being treated equally. Did you know that men can be feminists, too?

There's an awful stereotype of feminists that is the first thing that comes to mind when a lot of people hear the word. They think of an extremist form of feminism that involves hating men, and wanting women to run the world while men are regarded as second class citizens. There certainly are some people who have these beliefs, but there's an argument to be made that because they want women to have all of the power, that they aren't actually practicing feminism.

Our world has for so long oppressed women, and tried to keep them from having as much power as men have. The United States of America was founded in 1776. Women weren't allowed to vote until 1920. That's right! It took nearly 150 years for women to have the same power to vote in elections. That means that as we write this, women haven't been allowed to vote in America for as long as they weren't allowed to. It's shocking, and the only reason that women were given the right to vote, was because they fought for it. Feminism in action!!

That type of abuse of power by men, and the power that they witnessed when women challenged them on something, is a perfect example of why many right wing media personalities and politicians have worked hard to make the extreme feminist (often disgustingly referred to as 'Feminazis') the image that comes to your mind when you hear the word 'feminist'. They want men to think that feminists are women who're out to ruin their lives.

Now that you know that feminists don't hate men, and you don't have to approach them with kid gloves, let's continue our look at how you can hook up with a strong, intelligent, and probably very sexy feminist (without offending her).

Feminists are big on being treated with respect, and being treated like an adult. So when you tell the object of your affection that you're interested in them, and would like to go out with them sometime, keep those things in mind. Any macho maneuvers that you've used on women in the past, need to be thrown into a dumpster and set on fire. Feminists tend to be intelligent, so if you're planning on trying any sort of pick-up artist nonsense on her, you need to think twice about that as well. She's going to appreciate a straightforward approach.

Of course before you ask out a feminist, we suggest you do a little bit of research on feminism, and women's rights issues that are currently trending in the news. Don't read a couple New Yorker articles and then try and start a conversation with her about why Hilary lost the election, but it will be good to have a bit of an understanding of the issues that she clearly feels strongly about.

Here are some books that you might want to check out of the library before asking her out (or at least before your date happens, and you're at a much higher risk of having to discuss some of these issues):

-"Men Explain Things to Me" and "The Mother of All Questions" by Rebecca Solnit

-"Difficult Women," "Hunger," and "Bad Feminist" by Roxanne Gay

-"The Handmaid's Tale" and "Alias Grace" by Margaret Atwood (there are television adaptations of each of these if you'd rather watch than read)

-"Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics" by Bell Hooks

-"The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women" by Naomi Wolf

That's a fair bit of reading, so dive right in! If you want to hook up with a feminist, and are starting at zero understanding of feminism, there's unfortunately homework involved.

See how we're not just picking something that we want to do? How we're thinking about what our potential feminist hook up might like to do? This is key! If you don't know much about them, you should definitely try to have a conversation with them, and get some idea of what her interests and hobbies are, and what her favorite foods are. Here's a chance for you to use some of your newfound feminist education as well. Let us remind you again to not get too excited about your new knowledge, and start talking as though you're an expert. If she believes that you're a full-fledge feminist as well, there's a good chance that you'll find yourself in a deep-end conversation about gender politics that you'll drown in. Keep it light for now. You're still studying.

If you've got an agreement to go out sometime, but even after a conversation or two, you find yourself having a hard time figuring out what you should do on your date, you can always ask her what she wants to do. A lot of women don't like having to decide what you're going to do on your date, so don't be upset if she says that she'd rather you decide. You'll just have to wrack your brain a little bit longer, and plan a great date. But on the off chance that she does tell you want she wants to do, you can just do that.

If you've actually been reading some of the books we've recommended, along with some shorter pieces in magazines and online, there's a good chance you've started to notice something's different about the way you think. Maybe you've already realized what's happening, but if you haven't; you're becoming a feminist yourself. This is so important, and hopefully you're enjoying the process. The world of dating is so much more interesting when you more actively consider what the women that you're hooking up with want, and what they're going through in their day to day lives.

You might be at the point already where you don't even need the rest of this article. Wouldn't that be incredible? To go from looking up how to not offend a feminist when trying to hook up with her, to being absorbed in feminist theory, and maybe even not wanting to ask your feminist out yet because you still have so much to learn, and you want to be the best feminist date that you can possibly be when you make the move.

This is an easy one. If you're the one who asked for the date, then you're the one who reaches for the bill when your waiter brings it to the table. Your date might object to you paying for dinner, and offer to pay for either half, or her share. Now's an important moment for YOU to not get offended. Simply ask, "Are you sure? I'm happy to get this." If they insist that you don't pay for the whole bill, then that's it. End of story. You're not paying for the whole bill. Think of all the money you just saved because you were smart enough to ask a feminist out to dinner with you. Don't you wish you'd been doing this all along?

A lot of men who're inexperienced when it comes to dating strong independent women begin to get a little nervous when it comes time to make their move. They wonder if maybe because their date is such a strong proponent of equality among the sexes, if they should let her make the first move. It's very true that a feminist is more likely to make the first move on you than a woman who isn't, but the fairly common standard practice of a guy making the first move remains the default when dating a feminist. It doesn't mean that she won't beat you to the punch, but it means that if you wait too long, just like with any other woman, you risk sending signals that you're not interested in them, and they'll move on. So just do things the same way you've always done them, so long as the way you've always done them is respectfully, and perhaps even with some verbal requests for permission to make the move. Even if verbal consent may seem corny to a lot of people who're used to doing things based on body language and instinct, it's coming into vogue right now, and a large part of that is because of women's rights issues. So even if she doesn't subscribe to the idea that everything needs to be asked out loud when it comes to sex, she certainly won't be mad at you for doing it. And if by chance she doesn't, she'll tell you how she feels, and you can proceed from there.

Will your hook up become a relationship, or will it remain a one date or hook up and done situation? Only time will tell, but if you've absorbed what we've laid out here, one thing is for sure, and that's that you're going to be a MUCH BETTER HOOKUP moving forward. Your newfound appreciation and understanding of feminism is going to influence almost all of your dating actions moving forward. That may seem a little overwhelming, but we assure you that it's a great thing. Women are going to love the new you. If you hook up with women that you first hooked up back when you weren't a feminist, take note of how your repeat hookup goes. Does pillow talk come easier? Are you a more attentive sex partner? Is she seem more involved now that she sees that you respect her more than you did when you first hooked up?

Continue reading books by feminist writers, and keeping abreast of women's rights fights in the news. Be an ally to women, and get upset when the government tries to infringe on their rights. The more in tune you are with what women everywhere are dealing with, the more in tune you're going to be with the women that you hook up with. You'll be able to at the very least, tread water when you're thrown into that deep end conversation about gender politics, and your relationships will be much healthier because of it. Most importantly, your days of worrying about offending feminists are over. Now you're only worried about making sure you respect them.

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