Dating can be a challenge for shy guys, but XXXConnect is here with tips on how to up your game, and make dating with or without dating apps easier for you.

A lot of times, people are shy because they're in their own heads too much, and aren't as confident as others are. If you think about the people that you dislike the most, it's likely that they don't spend much time thinking before they speak, and are way more confident than you think they have any right to be. So it's time to start rewiring your way of thinking, to look at your personality and identify the positives so you can boost your confidence, and then using the many tools and advantages you have at your fingertips (dating apps, friends, common interests, etc.) to get yourself some action.

Lots of shy guys out there are hooking up this very moment. You don't have to stop being shy, but you do need to be more proactive. Read on for a more detailed look at some of the ways to get out in the world, and start hooking up like it's second nature.

We're not suggesting that you try to hook up with your friends. We're saying that the more you speak with them, the easier talking to people will become, and your shyness will hopefully decrease at a rapid rate. If you can talk to your friends without being shy, you need to take that ability and transfer it to talking to strangers. If your friends are interested in things that you talk about, there's definitely other people out there who'll feel the same way, and won't even notice your shyness if you pull it off. Ask your friends about how they met their partners, and explore whether or not that method is something that you'd be comfortable trying. Maybe they met their partner on a dating site, and will help you setup a dating profile on the same site that was good luck for them. Maybe they met at a bar that they haven't been to a while, and they'll suggest that you go there sometime soon to see if it's still a hotspot for cool singles that you can potentially hook up with.

When we suggest that you talk to your friends more, it's important to specify that we mean in person, not through texts and e-mails. Those are fine ways to communicate, but they can also be isolating tools that can amplify any feelings of insecurity or that you're not good with people. By spending more time spending time with other people, you'll find that your ability to socialize will increase. It might be a slow process, but it will definitely happen. If you feel yourself outside of your comfort zone, that's a good thing. Keep it up. Dating can be a lot of fun, but it certainly isn't always easy. The more comfortable that you are when you don't have control over everything around you, the better prepared you'll be to get out there and start hooking up.

If you're shy, and don't date as much as you want to, there's a good chance that your friends and their wider circle of friends might suspect that you just don't want to date. Sometimes people need a break from the dating scene so that they can focus on themselves, and maybe work on some passion projects that they haven't had the time to work on when also trying to go on dates and maintain romantic relationships. If your friends think that's the situation you're in, they'll respect that. But if you tell them that you're thinking about getting out into the dating world, they'll be happy to offer you any advice you might need, and to support you when you're looking for a wingman/wingwoman. They might even know someone that they've thought you'd be a great match with, and have been waiting for you to start dating again so that they could try and set you up.

As previously mentioned, friends love helping other friends setup dating profiles, and if you have friends who've found successful relationships on a dating app or site before, you should take advantage of their knowledge and expertise. Not only will they be better at knowing what people are looking for in a date or hookup, but they'll have a more positive image of who you are, and why you'd be a great catch for anyone who decides to send you a message.

We've all seen movies or episodes of our favourite TV shows where someone who's shy and awkward gets a makeover, and is suddenly a dreamboat who everyone suddenly wants to take to the prom, or even just hook up with. They're often pretty ridiculous, and we dismiss them because the actors were already obviously so good looking at the start of the process. Guess what though! Makeovers totally work. We often dress based on how we feel, so if we're feeling shy, reclusive, and don't want people to pay attention to us, we'll wear drab clothes that don't fit us properly, and that help us fit into the background of any party.

Get one or two of your more fashionable friends to suggest some stores for you to shop at. Maybe even ask if they want to come out with you and help you pick out some new duds. Again, you might feel a little bit uncomfortable in the clothes that they pick for you, but that's just because they'll be dressing you with the intention of making you look attractive to potential dates. If you've picked the right friends to help you out, we guarantee that you'll start getting a lot more compliments about your appearance, and you'll find that people are much friendlier when speaking to you. When people are complimented (even if it makes them uncomfortable), it makes them feel good about themselves. This is both a boost that your confidence can use, and also a boost to your physical attractiveness (which we all know is more often than not, the first key to a successful hook up).

In addition to getting some help from your friends, and changing up your look a bit to put forward an image of confidence, a huge part of getting out into the dating scene and having success is going to be whether or not you feel good about your life in general. Maybe if you've been a little lazy lately, or wish you worked on your passion projects a bit more than you do, you can really improve your odds of hooking up by working towards feeling better about your day to day life.

Connected to the positive impact that self-improvement can have on your odds of hooking up, you want to avoid negativity in your life as much as possible. If you can, and are able to be positive yourself, you'll be much more approachable and pleasant for potential hookups to talk to and go out with. If you're feeling positive, there'll be a little bit more confidence in you, and that's the best time for you to create an online dating profile. When you're feeling good, you can focus on your good points, and while you might feel an urge to write some self-deprecating 'jokes' about yourself, you'll be able to focus and realize that that's not the way to go. Even if you don't completely believe it, you have to put forward the best version of you that you can. Throw up a few pictures of yourself wearing your new outfits (see how useful the makeover is already proving to be?), and start browsing for potential matches. Keep your messages friendly, brief ("S'up?" is too brief), and then walk away from your phone or computer, and do something you enjoy. A watched pot never boils.

If you've followed these steps so far, you're on the right path. Now it's time to run it by your female friends, because they know you better than we do. Tell them what you're looking for, how you're feeling about things, and if you think that they can help you with anything specific, you should ask for the help.

You can certainly go out to a bar or club with your male friends and try to find a hookup that way, but since you're shy, you're most likely not going to take to their style of picking up. Your female friends might be just as aggressive as them, but their point of view is more valid, and will be more accurate advice. They know what women want. Trust their advice.

If you don't want to use dating apps to hook up, and find socializing too stressful, the path that you've most likely thought of but may be hesitant to use is the services of sex workers. There's a lot of stigma associated with sex work, but there really shouldn't be. If you decide to hire a sex worker to help you out, you should definitely take all precautions to practice safe sex to avoid any potential STIs but you might actually find that a sex worker is a great fit for your situation.

Sex workers are often hired by shy men who find the possibility of rejection that comes with dating to be paralyzing, but still want to have sex. It's a story that they've seen more times than you'd probably believe, and because of that, sex workers are experts at making your time with them as enjoyable and stress-free as possible.

If you feel like your shyness is strong enough to prevent you from being able to even hire a sex worker, you should also speak to a therapist about dealing with your fear, and perhaps a sex surrogate could be a solution.

We hope that you'll first give online dating a try because it's a game changer, and there are millions of shy guys who once they start using it, begin to feel much more comfortable with themselves and their dating lives.

People who're shy are also usually very passionate about their interests, and when they're enjoying those interests, they tend to open up a bit, and feel more comfortable in their own skin since they're doing something they know for a fact that they're good or knowledgable at.

No matter what your interests may be, there's almost certainly at least a handful of people in the city you live in that also enjoy those things. In all likelihood, there's a large number of them. Use the internet to seek out meet-up groups or gatherings of people near your home that focus on your passions. If you love to read, then you should obviously join a book club. Maybe two of them! If you're a cineast, there will surely be film groups that meet up at least monthly (if not more frequently) to watch cool movies together. To start, the smaller the group, the better, so that you're able to not feel overwhelmed by the number of people. You can of course join larger groups later, but keep things modest until you're more comfortable with socializing.

If you discover that there isn't a group for you to join that matches your interests, you can start your own. Start small, advertise your meetings onlyne on themed message boards, through social media, and if your interest is unique enough, you might even be able to get a little coverage on the news.

Through the people you meet at these groups, your social circles will grow, and you'll become more and more likely to find someone who you're a match with, and with whom hooking up with will feel completely natural.

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