Teledildonics is just a fancy name for cyber sex and its related toys and tools, such as special technology that allows people to simulate sex with each other remotely -- for instance over a web cam. There is a range of tech that you can pick up to help heighten the experience of virtual sex and mutual masturbation; sex workers who dabble in cam girl services can make use of these items and their related software as well.

Ever thought about getting into teledildonics -- or the other way around? Welcome to another great xxxconnect sex advice guide, where we answer everything you have ever wanted to know about this subject.

Yes, we know. It's a very strange word that makes no sense when you first see it. Then you break it down and it starts to become clear. "Tele" means "far away," and we see this partial word in many other forms such as television, telephone, and Telly Savalas. "Dildo" -- well, we all know what that means by now, don't we? And then "nics," which means, uh, nothing really. So, we put it all together and we get "far away sex toy." Who wouldn't want one of those? Possibly Telly Savalas, who stopped needing one in 1994.

Yes, the idea of having sex remotely has been around since the days of the mighty pharaohs, who would often complain of not being able to have sex with their partners while on the other side of the city of the kingdom from them. King Thepnes IV eventually ordered ten thousand slaves to link arms across the kingdom and have the one on the end stimulate Mrs Thepnes IV orally on his behalf. This was arguably the first ever instance of teledildonics. The very next recorded instance of teledildonics came (!) in the mid to late 1970s, when a young German architect named Gandolf Ernst decided, while in the US for work, to give his girlfriend in Munich a special phone call. He ordered a dildo from a German company and had it delivered to her apartment. What happened next is not recorded by history, though we like to think that Mrs Ernst's five kids (born some 9 months later) looked a lot like the delivery guy.

Yes and no. If you are getting into it for fun, then it can be a little pricey. If, on the other hand (or both hands, if you catch our drift...) you are going to monetize your new found fad, for instance, through being a camgirl, then you could get a paying customer to sponsor your new interest by paying for the gear that they will then get to enjoy as well. If they buy two sets of the gear, then you get to keep yours, while they keep theirs. The good thing about this set up is that any subsequent customers simply have to have their own set of teledildonics toys, while your own proves to be the gift that keeps on giving.

It is a good idea to start out slow and gentle when you are exploring a new form of sex in any kind -- going in hard and dry is never a good idea. Aside from the fact that having sex remotely is not remotely like having sex, there is a very high chance that you can do yourself a mischief with a sex toy if you are not careful.

Probably because you're not living in the 70s, when teledildonics was more than just a made up word. Back then, a teledildonics set looked like a cross between a washing machine and a telephone with a hard on. It would have been the epitome of cool to break out what was essentially Cray-1's horny cousin at a party and then call your Russian boyfriend long distance for a remote controlled orgy. Nowadays if you get on Skype at a party and start touching yourself while your boyfriend tells you how cold it is in Siberia, you are likely to get a few odd looks at best. So basically, culture has changed. These days, it is easy to talk to someone remotely via video link up, and nearly everyone has at least one sex toy. It is mostly for this reason that people just do not really need teledildonics. Plus the name is stupid. Just typing it into Google takes five minutes. But by all means, rush out and buy a bunch of them if you want to try something new.

There are many pros to being able to have sex with a sex partner when they are not present, such as being able to mutually masturbate and even have a remote controlled orgasm, but are there any cons to having amazing sex via teledildonics? There are a few, to be sure. First of all, you lack the skin on skin sensation that normal sex with normal people brings. On top of this, you can lose some of the nuance of a face to face conversation, insofar as a conversation is part of what you get up to. One more thing that is a con for sure when it comes to long distance sex is that you cannot always be sure of who you are talking to, since anonymity and the net go hand in hand.

Of course. This is actually a great idea if you are in a long distance romance. Well, at least it will keep them too busy to cheat on your for 5 minutes. Or it will get them in the mood, just in time to hit the town. The other thing you can do if you are in a partnership is have remote threesomes, in which you invite someone to watch and join in remotely while you and your other half get it on. If, on the other hand, your partner is using it for "talking" to other people online when you are not around, then you may wish to keep it under lock and key (the dildo -- not your partner).

Teledildonicking is all the rage among the young, the middle aged, the old, the infirm, and the mentally incapable, but is there a way to do it wrong? Beyond forgetting to plug in all the bits and bobs that are needed in order to have a great teledildonics session, is there a way to screw things up so monumentally that you get nothing out of it? Forgetting to pay your internet bill is one way, and accidentally teledildonicking your own mother might be another.

It can be hard to get a handle on any new aspect of the hook up world if you have never tried it before. These people have -- and here are their stories in their own words.

"It had been maybe two years since I had started chatting to guys and having cybersex with them, using my teledildonics set. I had a boyfriend, of course, but since we didn't live together I was free to do whatever I liked, (which is a woman's right, after all). This included having cybersex with multiple different men, which made it a lot easier to not just meet other guys, but also to explore myself -- and them -- sexually and to a large extent emotionally, as well. One man I met in this way was so generous and loving, as well as being very handsome, that when we ended up meeting in real life it was pure fireworks. we never looked back, and ended up getting married. Of course, now that he has a job that requires a commute, it also means that I have been able to slip back into my old habit of meeting and masturbating with ther men, so it's a win-win for me!"

"I became a camgirl in my teens, and while this was a great way for a youngster like I was to make a few quid on the sly, it never really got me off. Then I found out that by using long distance sex toys I could draw in a whole new market. The Japanese were particularly into it, I heard. So I bought myself a set of long distance sex toys and started to get serious with myself in front of the camera. I got so serious the first time that I couldn't walk straight for about an hour. And my customers loved that level of candidness. They told me that, using their sex toys, they were able to orgasm as hard as I did, until our mutual masturbation reached such heights of synchronized sensuality that my neighbors started to complain. I started to wonder if I might have killed my career by getting so noisy, until I had the breakthrough idea of inviting my neighbors over for a teledildonics demonstration. They observed the usefulness of these items firsthand, and were so blown away by our mass, multinational orgy that they bought their own sets. And that was how I transitioned from camgirl to teledildonics salesperson."

You, like I, may love the power of teledildonics, and the way that it can bring people from as far away as the next state, province, town, or even country, together for lovely sex times via the wonder that is the internet. I had been getting into teledildonics in a big way -- you could say I was hooked! The best thing about this hip new way to get your rocks off was that you could take it anywhere. And that was, in the end, my downfall. Since I have (had, hahaha) my own office and my job is (was, hahaha) quite low key, I decided that I could take my teledildonics set to work with me. After all, why not? I had caught the boss having a sly tug in the stationery cupboard on my first day, so I thought, "What harm," and got down to some serious facetime with my bae at lunch. Big mistake! First of all, it wasn't lunch. Second of all, I was already in a meeting! Third of all, I got fired. The take home? Sex and work don't mix -- except when they do!

Goodbye, hookup babies! This is the end of this guide to teledildonics, so we hope that it answered all of your remote controlled sex questions. If it didn't, might we refer you to the glamorous "Internet," which can answer all the queries of the common man or woman, and which knows what lies in all hearts, and all the secrets of the ages, and stuff. XXXConnect has many more such free sex advice guides, so we hope that you will go and have a look at one or more (or all) of them, at our brand new, shiny home page!

Have you ever wanted to know how to make a leak proof sex tape? Us too! It sounds so hard, doesn't it? Well, we figured it out, and now you can too, thanks to our xxxconnect guide HERE!