There is a lot of possibility in online dating. You can meet people from all over the world or someone who lives in the same neighborhood that you do. People connect with each other through their personal profiles on different dating sites and dating apps which includes a photograph and a short biography about yourself. This is designed to help other people get to know you and decide if they want to send you a message. However, you do not actually meet this person in real life until they have messaged you and you have secured a date with them. This means that even though you have been messaging them, seeing them in person and what they look like can be surprising especially if they are not being honest on their profile. "Greggsing" refers to this type of situation which is becoming part of the experience of modern dating.
"Greggsing" is a term that refers to when you meet up with someone that you are talking to online and they are not what you expected either through their appearance or personality. This type of situation has been occurring more frequently because of online dating which involves a virtual interaction with someone through online dating sites or dating apps. While the intention is to be as honest and open as possible on these types of sites so that you can get the best match, many people will choose not to disclose certain information or will post a heavily-edited photo which makes them look more attractive than they are. In extreme cases, people will post fake photos on their profile to get more people to message them.
Everyone embellishes a little when online dating which is why terms like "greggsing" are speaking to universal experiences. It can be very awkward when you meet up with someone and they look completely different from their profile picture. Either they used a fake photo that looked similar or they have used their Photoshop skills to make themselves more attractive. This can include getting rid of dark circles or even slimming their face down to make them look thinner than they are. Or, if someone is using a portrait shot as their profile picture, you do not know what their body looks like or how tall they are. You can only use what information you are given from their profile because you have never met them in person. On online dating sites, people choose who to talk based on how attractive their profile photo is which is why many people will choose photos that make them look like the best versions of themselves or photos that hide all their imperfections.
Since you create your own profile on dating sites, you can write whatever you want and there is nobody who can disprove it. While many people will be honest so that they can find the perfect match for them, others will choose to embellish their lives to make them seem more interesting. Since everything online is edited, it means that you can pick the best information to make your profile attractive to other people. You could really hit it off with someone online but when you actually go on a date with them, you find them boring or unattractive because they have been dishonest on their profile. When you meet someone you have been talking to online who is funny, witty and outgoing but when you meet in person they are very shy and uncomfortable or rude and obnoxious, this is another example of "greggsing."
One of the ways that you can avoid "greggsing" is to pay attention to profile photos. You do not only want to look at them for how attractive they are but whether or not they look fake or like they been tampered with. You can also consider looking at it in regards to the type of photo. Does it look like a high-quality stock photo? To be more specific, does it look the photo that you get inside when you purchase a picture frame? Or, does it look like someone's cellphone selfie? Selfie show that the person most likely to the photo themselves. This could be an indication that the person who has the profile is using a real, unedited photo of themselves.
If you decide to message them, you can always ask them to send you photos just to make sure that they look the same as their profile photo. Say that you want to show your friends how good-looking you are and make them jealous. You can even offer to send them photos back so that they do not suspicious. If there is a big delay between them taking the photo and sending it to you or if there is no delay at all, then you might want to be a little cautious. Also, you can check the new photos that they sent against the profile photo to see if it is the same person. Some people might choose to use an older photo of themselves as their profile picture. It is still the same person but there is a difference between what they look like in their photo and their appearance in person. This can also cause "greggsing."
If you are still not sure, there are certain sites and search engines where you can place the photo and they will let you know what the source is. If the photo is found on other websites or search engines, then it is a pretty good chance that they have taken the photo from somewhere else and that is not actually them. You can also see what other websites that photo is on. In addition, there are websites and apps that will show you if a photo has been Photoshopped or edited in any way.
Dating apps and dating sites are the perfect opportunity to get to know if someone is your type before committing to an actual date. The profiles give people an overview of the personality and desires of the other members and from there, they can decide whether or not to message them. People also use dating profiles as an icebreaker when they are talking to another member that they are interested in. Using the information on their profile to ask questions is a great way to prevent "greggsing" from happening.
If there is conflicting information in their profile, this is a good sign that they are being dishonest. One of the ways that you can figure this out is to ask them questions. You want to first use the conversation as a way to confirm all the things that they are saying on their profile. For example, if the person put down on their profile that they are adventurous but when you ask them what is the craziest thing that they have done and they cannot give you an answer, they might be pretending to be more adventurous to meet more matches. In reality, they could be very shy and awkward which is not what you are looking for in a partner.
Nobody wants to be put into a situation like "greggsing" where the partner that they were interested in does not actually exist, either because they have embellished their personality or they have used an edited photo to make themselves more attractive to people. This situation is very uncomfortable because you do not want to be rude but you are also very upset because you are not dating the person that you thought you were. Although, many photos on online dating sites and dating apps are of real members, it is better to be cautious and do your research about the person that you are interested before you actually meet them in person.
Another way that you confirm that they are the same person in their profile photo is to ask to video message them. For some people, video messaging is a great precursor to a date because you get to see the person that you are going on the date with. This helps protect you from situations like "greggsing" and also make you more excited for meeting up with them in person. Video messaging lets you talk to people face to face and is more intimate than a phone call or series of text messages. Also, since video messaging is done in real-time, it cannot be faked or edited by the other person. Although, if they are video messaging you through their phone, they might be able to use filters on the video to smooth out lines. However, this is easily visible and does not have a very big effect on the actual video message.
Arrange a time for the two of you to video message each other before the actual date. You can say that you want to get to know them better and would feel more comfortable if you could see who you were talking to. If they agree, then set up the video chat for as soon as possible so that you do not waste anymore time in case they are not right for you. A video chat will help you feel more confident that the person that you are chatting with online is real and looks like their profile photo. This will also get you excited for your date because you are able to see the person that you will be meeting soon.
If you want to avoid "greggsing" when online dating, do not set your expectations too high. Not everyone is going to have the perfect body or look like a supermodel. It is important to keep in mind that your date might be nervous which is why they are fumbling their words or laughing awkwardly at your jokes. Online, people can be more confident because they do not have to look at the other person while they are talking to them. They also can have the time to think about what they write but in real life, they are put on the spot and it can be intimidating for them to try to impress you. If you notice that they are nervous, a little understanding can go a long way in making the date go a lot smoother.
In the past, blind dates were the only way you could be surprised on a first date by not knowing the other person at all. Although if you were set up by a friend or family member, often they would show you a picture to make sure that your date was your type first. However, now online dating is keeping this feeling of spontaneity and surprise alive especially when it comes to dating. You do not really know someone until you meet them in person. You can see how they interact in a public setting and also how they treat you when they do not have time to edit everything that they say. You might have fallen in love with someone online but until you meet them in person, you do not fully know them. People are very different online than they are in person and you need to be able to realize that so that you do not end up disappointed by your date.
Lowering your expectations when it comes to online dating can make it more enjoyable. When you do this, you will not be disappointed if the other person turns out to be different than their online personality. However, when someone is completely opposite to how they are online, this can be a problem. For example, if you are talking to someone who sends you love poetry and is very sweet and romantic online but then in person, they are rude, obnoxious and make perverted jokes, this is an unfair situation to you. You are disappointed because the person that you fell in love with online does not exist in real life because their personality is very different.
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